Who Are Your People?

1 Corinthians 15:33  Do not be misled:

“Bad company corrupts good character.”

As Christians we rightfully spend a lot of time talking about how to love others.  And “Others” is a non-discriminating word.  It’s a very important topic that requires much wisdom and practice.  Most of us will spend the whole of our lifetime trying to do it better.  However, there is another important matter that gets much less attention, but also requires great consideration and training:

Recognizing when to let people GO.

Jesus was careful to warn that the influence of some people is not good for you.  We’d better pay attention to His heeding.

Matthew 13:24-28 Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared. “The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow GOOD SEED in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’ ‘An enemy did this,’ he replied.”

“Weeds”, by definition, are plants whose bad outweighs their good.  They are naturally strong competitors that reduce crop yield by competing for water, light, soil nutrients, and space.

Here’s the point: “Weeds” can also be people.  So who in your life is a weed?

It’s not such a straight forward question to answer, is it?  Weeds can be mighty deceiving.

I have a communal footpath running along the side of our house which many neighbors use to walk their kids to school.  Unfortunately, towering weeds are taking over, making it hard for anyone to pass.  Our neighbors even posted a sign telling people to stop knocking on their door and asking them to clean it out – “It’s a public path and the responsibility of the city!”.  In desperation, I spent many hours working on it myself last summer, only to have those weeds back with a vengeance in no time.

But, right now, that foot path is gorgeous.  Big, strong, healthy, yellow flowers are everywhere… weeds in disguise.  And just like those pretty flowers, some people in our lives are weeds we struggle to recognize.  It’s not always easy to know who to water and who to uproot.  We need to be better trained when it comes to the company we keep.

It’s worth the effort to prayerfully consider if you’ve been nurturing the right or wrong kind of relationships.  Weeds come in all shapes and sizes.  Here are some that go under the radar too often:

• People who affirm you in your bad attitudes, habits or perspectives.  Commiserating feels therapeutic, but, ultimately, causes you to sink deeper in your own destructive tendencies.  (Proverbs 13:20 “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”)

• Those who continually pull from your resources.  No matter how much you give, they need more.  You leave their company feeling emptied and ineffectual.  Do not be confused in your efforts to be Christ-Like.  The enemy can use them to make you less effective in places you would otherwise thrive.  Ask God to show you when your grace has run out.  (Matthew 10:16 “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be wise as snakes and as innocent as doves.”)
• Women are especially good at this particular one – People who seemingly say and do all the right things – complimenting, encouraging, & even challenging you.  But, all the while, underhandedly twisting those words as a means to minimize, leaving you feeling inadequate and defeated.  This is one smart weed, and it’s often rooted in jealousy.  Get the garden tools out and uproot that relationship.  Do not allow yourself to be manipulated.  (Matthew 7:15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.”)

You need to be “IN” the world but not “OF” the world, right?  (Romans 12:2) It’s a fine, but important line to learn how to draw.  There is a difference, after all, between who YOU minister to and who you allow to minister TO YOU.  

De-weeding is important for growing and remaining healthy.  We do not, however, uproot someone in order to throw them in the trash can.   People can be compared to weeds, but unlike actual weeds, people are not a lost cause.  We serve a Father who transforms.   If God tells you to remove someone’s influence from your life, it could very well be to position them for the plan He’s working on in their life.

Every garden needs regular attention.  Now is a good time to use fresh eyes and take a look at yours.

#whentoletgo #notgoodforyou #movingon