Grace

It had to be the neighbors.

Hebrews 13:1  Let brotherly love continue.

 

I love to organize… Closets, refrigerators, basements, whatever I can get my hands on.  And purging inevitably abounds.  That’s complicated for me though — I happen to live in Germany where trash is sort of a big deal.  Keeping track of what goes where, let alone when it goes, requires a masters degree in recycling.

And, after everything has been organized, there is ONE trash can for “what’s left”.  It’s a small container that gets emptied only twice a month.  Problem is, my family fills that bin with diapers alone.

Across the street from us, 4 new apartment buildings have been built since we moved here.  Initially, some of the units sat empty.  And that got me thinking…

Those big dumpsters were sitting only half-full a lot of the time.

Now, I knew this wasn’t entirely smart, as Germans are RULE FOLLOWERS, but we are all neighbors, right?  I have trash, they have empty bins, what could be the harm?  So (normally in the cover of the night) I’d covertly deposit a bag in their bin from time to time.

Until this happened…

I came home and had a rather official looking letter in my mail box from the building management company.  It did not mince words:  “Mrs. Yoder: You have been reported on numerous occasions to be using our dumpsters.  If you do this ever again we will fine you and take more extreme measures as we see fit.”

OK, I was furious.  I mean blood-pumping-heart-poundingly-angry.  My brand new neighbors had been spying on me?  Reporting me?  And now threatening me because of their half-full dumpsters?  I was so mad.  I wanted to move!

So I hatched a plan.  I will decorate their dumpsters with balloons and streamers and throw them a “Don’t you worry, Heather won’t be back here again” party!  A payback to point out how stupid they were being.

I shouldn’t have been surprised when that little check in my spirit began.  The one that God breaks out anytime we feel a false sense of entitlement.  And, I’ll be honest, it made me even more mad, at first.  I was still hurt and, quite frankly, embarrassed.

But I could already see it coming — there is a lesson here I need to learn, and it’s probably not going to be about trash.

I started itemizing my frustrations for the Lord.  Amazingly, He didn’t seem to agree with my planned approach.  And the irony of “Love your neighbors as yourself” did not escape me.  Eventually, I knew what I was really supposed to do in response.  I also knew it was going to nearly kill me.

I spent the entire next day baking cookies for all 36 new families in those 4 buildings.  I didn’t know who’d been watching me, so I had no choice but to find a way to bless them all.  I packaged them in bags I’d decorated and had a friend help me draft a letter in German.  In it, I explained how American’s traditionally greet new neighbors with something freshly baked.  I welcomed them to the neighborhood and told them how glad I am to have them here.

I slipped the treats in each post box and called it D.O.N.E.!  Wiping my hands of this embarrassment and feeling very grateful the lesson was finally over.

I never anticipated what happened next though.  Germans have their traditions too, after all… And when someone gives you a gift, apparently, you return the favor.  Within an hour, my doorbell started ringing.  Family after family, was coming by with things like chocolates, wine, and flowers.  To the very people with whom I’d been avoiding speaking my broken German for months I had accidentally given an open invitation to come over and meet me in person.  And this went on for days!

Not once did we speak about trash.  And through this process, they did see a side of me they otherwise couldn’t have while spying through their curtains.  The side that deeply desires to share the light of Christ.

And that’s when I really learned my lesson.  Loving one another is at it’s best when it’s not easy.

It’s remarkable how entitled, bitter & selfish we instinctually are.  It’s called “Human Nature” quite simply because of how naturally it comes.  Training that nature to be different is painful but possible – and oh how NECESSARY.  We are given opportunities all the time to do it!  Chances are you will have quite a few today alone.

Ultimately, loving your neighbor only has a little to do with your neighbor.  If it’s hard.  If it hurts.  If it stretches you.  That’s when you know you’re doing it well.  Keep it up.

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  • Tricia Menges June 16, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    You hit it out of the park on this one!

    • Heather Yoder June 16, 2014 at 3:03 pm

      Thank you. I wait for your feedback (did you know that?).

  • Francina Siders Simmons June 16, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    I love it. Made me look at myself with this one. Thank you.

    • Heather Yoder June 16, 2014 at 6:44 pm

      To be honest, each time I read it, it makes me look at myself again too. I hear you! And thank you!

  • debra jean June 16, 2014 at 3:35 pm

    Loved this story!! Thanks!!! I remember you telling me about this!! It sure makes you think…….did me!! 🙂 Love you!

    • Heather Yoder June 16, 2014 at 6:43 pm

      Makes me think even as I relive the moment in my mind. Sometimes we have to learn and relearn lessons! I’d prefer to avoid baking cookies next time and buy some flowers or something though ;).

  • Andrea June 16, 2014 at 6:09 pm

    Your German translator-friend didn’t warn you of the German response to your lovely (and I am sure delicious) cookies?!

    • Heather Yoder June 16, 2014 at 6:34 pm

      I will call them tonight! You make a good point. Of course, this friend is like a brother to me and also likes to watch me sweat. Could be he wrote for them to come over in the card. 😉

      • Andrea June 16, 2014 at 6:40 pm

        That is actually what I was thinking!!

        • Heather Yoder June 16, 2014 at 6:51 pm

          I wouldn’t put it past him! But my German is good enough to understand what I’m reading (thankfully). Otherwise, I probably would have assumed it was his secret plan from the start. This friend did sign our house up for regular free samples of Depends Diapers for adults… We have that kind of “dynamic”. 😉

  • Erica June 17, 2014 at 12:35 am

    Thanks for the challenge. [And your story made me smile as I pictured each of those neighbors visiting with you!]