Hope

Sometimes it’s a “NO”

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

 

 

I always wanted to be a cheerleader.  I mean I really REALLY wanted to be a cheerleader…  But, friends, even with a graduating class of just 35 people, the odds were not in my favor.

I tried out every single year.   And I worked hard at making up those cheers and learning those “peppy” jumps.

My junior year, I finally went all out.  I even got my good friend to help me work on my moves.  She’d graduated with a squad that had been nationally competitive, so she knew what she was doing.  I, on the other hand, had crazy long legs that appeared to have a mind of their own when I did any organized sport.

In an effort to give me an edge, we came up with quite a dramatic moment in my “original cheer”.  I remember my friend saying, “If done right, this will ‘wow’ the judges for sure!!”…

From a standing position I was supposed to fall straight to my knees and, almost simultaneously, collapse my arms and face to the ground.  (There is a graceful and safe way to do this, apparently, but I never got the hang of it)

When I walked across that gym floor — all alone — and stood in front of those judges, my embarrassingly skinny legs and knobby knees were already bruised badly from practicing.  When I made my “big move”, the judges literally gasped… and not because they were impressed.  I think they were afraid I might break in half right then and there.  In the end, I did not make the team.  Again.  And I was truly heart broken.

When my mom came to pick me up from school that afternoon, I was standing in the shadows waiting for her to arrive.  I ran to the car so we could get out of there as quickly as possible.

She asked enthusiastically if I’d made it?!

As I sat there, knees bruised and humiliated, I told her, “No. I didn’t”  And then, with a tearful smile, I said something that she has reminded me of countless times since that day:

If God knew how much I wanted this and He still chose not to give it to me.  How much greater is the thing He must have for me instead?”  

Sometimes we ask God with our whole hearts for something, and He does not give it to us.

The truth is this:  Some things He CHOOSES not to give it to us

That’s a harsh reality, even on our most Christian days.  And sometimes the heartache we face while staring through the void of that unanswered prayer is enough to make us want to give up on a lot more than that one thing.

Trust me, I didn’t know it then, but cheerleading would pale in comparison to the things God would choose not to give me in my adult life.

You know what?  If He’d given me some of things I cried tears over and pleaded for on my knees, I wouldn’t have had the benefit of the tranquil Mediterranean Sea as a source of inspiration for this week’s post.  My world would pale in comparison because the dreams I have for me do not compare to the ones that God has for me.

Do you want a dime store version of life done YOUR way?  Or do you want a “Pressed down, shaken together and running over” kind of living?

Our Father knows the beginning with a direct line of sight all the way to the end.  He cares MUCH more about our happiness, our calling, our kids, our jobs, our finances, our EVERYTHING – than we ever could.

Does this mean we stop praying, pleading, asking??

NOT FOR A MOMENT.

ASK for all that is on your heart.  Beg, if you must.  I’m a prayer warrior and I will not stop praying for and believing for HUGE things, and neither should you.  But when the answer is “No.”  Let. It. Go.  You will know when it’s time.

Then brace yourself because THE GREATER is on its way.  Maybe not tomorrow, or the next day.  But it’s coming.

 

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  • Erica April 7, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    I love your heart when you said (and even when still in high school!) “If God knew how much I wanted this and He still chose not to give it to me. How much greater is the thing He must have for me instead?” What great perspective! It’s freeing to know that God is guiding our ways as we follow Him on this adventure. Thanks for sharing.

    • Heather Yoder April 7, 2014 at 2:12 pm

      You know, what I love? That you were one of those amazing cheerleaders and you never made me or anyone else feel inferior. Even more so, I love that you, your family and your brother’s family live every single day to show people the light of Christ and care for the hearts of people who have heard a “No”, because, so often, those “No’s” are crippling and can bind you up. I’m glad you are an example of embracing even the hard “Yes’s” right along with the “No’s”. Thanks for being a friend who (even in high school!) knew that having a heart after the Father will never be the wrong choice.

  • Tricia Menges April 7, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    I remember this moment as if it were yesterday. The judges may not have gasped at your performance, but I remember gasping at your comment. We were both crying as we drove away from the school that day. You because you didn’t make the team, me because I had seen all those bruises on your knees and now I worried you’d have one on your heart. It just killed me. But your response has carried me through so many “no’s” in my own life. If He said “no”, knowing how much I wanted “it”… what wonderful thing is around the corner for me instead. You have always been my teacher. Thank you…

    • Heather Yoder April 7, 2014 at 4:50 pm

      Mom, you leave me with no words (not an easy thing to accomplish, I know). That I get you in my life is pretty amazing. That I get you as my own… now, that is evidence of how much our Father cares for this long legged, bruised heart, grow-up, little girl. loving you everyday, Lutricia.

  • haileyhiggs April 7, 2014 at 10:20 pm

    Oh heather, I so needed to hear these words today! Thank you for writing them. God is still healing my heart from this breakup and this is exactly the reminder I needed!

    • Heather Yoder April 8, 2014 at 10:02 am

      Sweet Hailey, I know you already get that God has something bigger for you. But when your heart hurts, it just plain hurts. Sometimes it takes a while for our heart to catch up with our head (even with our spirit). Think of how much you would give to get that relationship back and then think of how hard it was for the Father to take it away from you… but HE KNOWS giving you this would be nice for a minute, but deprive you of the husband, kids, country, church, friends, job, (um, there is a whole lot that changes when we have the wrong relationship) that HE knows you will LOVE!!!! Don’t settle for second best and don’t for one minute think you deserve it. You are going to find a husband who will blow your mind. In the meantime, have fun with the friends He’s given you and the amazingly cool life you get to lead right now. Do you realize how many people never get the awesome life you have at such a young age already? You’re too cool not to know that there’s a rich future awaiting you. 😉

      • haileyhiggs April 14, 2014 at 12:17 pm

        Thank you, Heather! You are so right. Sometimes it helps just hearing it from someone else! I can’t tell you how many times I have reread this post and your comment this past week, and I read it to Kelsi, Rebecca and Jenny at breakfast on Thursday morning and they loved it, too! You are a gift to all of us! The Lord has been so gracious as He continues to reveal these truths to me a little more each day. I have been practicing being thankful this week that he took this relationship away, and that has helped me see it in a new light! God is so good, especially in our suffering!

        • Heather Yoder April 14, 2014 at 8:29 pm

          I feel like you all know exactly the heart of this kind of message, and you are living it. Seriously, don’t be worried about the stuff that weighs so heavily on your heart. There is a reason (a stinking big one) and there is an answer – better yet, there is an OUTCOME, that you will be so grateful for and when it comes you will KNOW why you had to wait. Love you, Ms. Hailey. You are my kind of girl <3.

  • Karen Bland April 8, 2014 at 10:03 am

    I wish i had always listened when He said no in the past! But i have come to realise that His NO means He is showing me His unconditional love!! You are an inspiration xxxx

    • Heather Yoder April 8, 2014 at 10:18 am

      Exactly! It’s one of those lessons we learn and then just might have to relearn and relearn and… But after some solid experience with it, it gets easier to see that we want the “No’s” regardless of how hard they can be. You’re right, it’s how He shows us that His love outweighs are misguided, however well-intended, hearts. Father knows best, huh? <3 Thanks, my friend.

  • debra jean April 9, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    Beautiful………….how did you know? 🙂 🙂 🙂 <3 <3 <3 Love you!!